In the early 2000s, I showed teachers Google Earth – recently renamed from Keyhole – and we explored real aerial images using its basic tools. Like most novices, they zoomed into home and other places that were familiar. One in particular started waving excitedly. As I approached her, she began waving at the screen saying, “Hey grandma! Here I am!” I reminded her that we hadn’t quite reached that level of live interaction. It’s funny now, but thanks to satellites equipped with stellar cameras, we can access regular imagery updates of the planet. If we knew when grandma was working in the yard, we might be able to see her. This idea of being seen sent me down a different path. In a culture of Instagram worthy versions of life, who is the real you. Do the pictures paint an accurate view like something from a satellite, or in spite of the digital presence, are we feeling invisible?
We might start feeling invisible sometime during our school years based on popularity. We work hard to find our place in the world through careers and volunteer passions. As we make life choices, silos of belonging begin to form. Do you have children? Did you choose a well-acknowledged career? Do you have a life partner? Where are you from? Are you retiring? These questions lead to some bias whether you answer, “Yes” or “No.” Your brain might begin to spin up more questions. Why did they ask that question? Do I look or sound like I need to retire? Even with a satisfying career and home life, many still struggle to find their voice and visibility. Dr. Allison Cook recommends a healthy dose of curiosity and awareness to turn around invisibility in relationships. Some reasons for these feelings that Debra Smouse shares on her website resonated with my personal experiences:
Canva creation by B. Duke.- You learned at an early age to be physically present, but not call attention to yourself
- You fail to honor your feelings and ignore your intuition
- You’re sacrificing your visibility in the hopes of making other people happier
- You’re so good at your role in the family that you’ve become invisible to them
- You’ve kind of checked out of your own life
- You don’t matter in your social circles
- You need to work on your self-confidence
You can turn it around! Macy Baxi, a Cherry Creek High School student, shared a TED talk with some lovely insights that can work for any age. When thinking through, “How do you get there?”, she shares some simple but valuable nuggets to transform your communication skills, a key element to improving visibility:
- See yourself clearly first
- Recognize your worth and capabilities along with growth areas
- Listen and engage actively to steer the conversation
- Have focused goals
- Learn to reflect and value input from any conversation
If you’re serving in leadership, you can have a tremendously positive impact on those in your care. Leaders can help others evolve and feel impactful…seen. Jamie Kern Lima has some encouraging tips that help you see yourself and others more effectively:
- Give an honest compliment
- Notice and acknowledge someone
- Express appreciation
Even the most introverted folks can wrap their heads around these simple approaches. Wouldn’t we all like to feel appreciated? Don’t you stand a little taller with a kind, honest compliment from even a stranger? Knowing that someone sees and acknowledges your hard work, and time spent goes a long way to improving your invisibility lens.
It’s early in the year, so let’s all endeavor to help each other be seen and heard. Spread around a few more compliments and express your appreciation far and wide! We need each other.
Barbaree Duke
Geospatial Crusader
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